Monday, March 28, 2011

The Wait. Is Killing Me.

Increasingly I find that the worst part of this experience (so far, of course) is WAITING. Waiting for Aunt Flo to visit again, which won’t happen until March. Tenth. Next MONTH. God, it always seems like I want the time between “visits” to last as long as possible. Never in my life have I wanted it to HURRY UP like I do right now.

Once Aunt F. arrives I will be able to go have my bloodwork done again. Then I will be (again) waiting for the results. Then waiting to meet with my doctor.

Essentially, waiting to see how the rest of my life is going to turn out.

I am restless. I can’t focus on anything. I can’t make myself do my work; work that really needs to be done. I can’t keep myself away from the Internet and the countless blogs and Web sites about infertility. I can’t make myself stop.

I haven’t even started trying to get pregnant yet, and already I feel like I’m losing my mind.

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