Thursday, October 31, 2013

Ultrasound results

Had our ultrasound today when I am six weeks along. I spent the whole morning totally sick to my stomach with nerves, not to mention fighting the urge to throw up because I had to drink a lot of water and it was not sitting well.

After all that chugging, the tech took one look at my belly with the machine, said, "You have a retro verged uterus," and brought out the wand.

We saw the little sac with a yolk sac in it, but not a heartbeat or a fetal pole. I was afraid this was exactly what would happen. The tech was saying it could still develop when Mr. M. pointed out that I had ovulated pretty late in my cycle (CD 20 or so) and the tech said that made sense because I was measuring at about five weeks instead of six.


We left with no real answers and later this afternoon the nurse called. She said the doctor was fairly happy with what she saw today, and that since I was earlier than they thought the beta numbers and what we saw on the ultrasound made a little more sense. That was very reassuring - finally some positive news!

So now we wait again until our next ultrasound on November 14, when I will be 8 weeks. I will just continue to hope and pray that the baby continues to grow and develop and be strong and healthy.

We were actually scheduled to fly to New Orleans on Saturday for our anniversary but I have been forbidden to fly. So, we are going to drive instead. It's only about 10 1/2 hours from where we live so it is manageable. I'm hoping it will be just a relaxing, romantic trip full of good food and shopping and all that kind of stuff. It will also help to pass some of the time before the next ultrasound.

So back to the waiting game we go.

Monday, October 28, 2013

Third beta means more questions

Got my third beta results today.

Rose from 842 to 1,591.

So not quite a doubling.

The nurse seems still worried about it, and made me so much more terrified by wondering out loud if it might be an ectopic pregnancy.


Ultrasound to check for a fetal pole is scheduled for Thursday morning at 10:45. Mr. M. will be going with me.

I will be six weeks that day if I make it that far.

I just....don't know what to think.

More waiting now. Endless, fearful waiting.

Well, wish me luck. I guess.

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Second beta not good

Second beta is in.

Went from 505 to 842, so no doubling.

Nurse said it's not looking promising.

Going for another blood draw tomorrow.

If it gets up over 1,000 they will do an ultrasound towards the end of next week.

Sigh. Sick to my stomach.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

First beta is in

Finally got the call from my beta (hcg) draw yesterday.

Beta number was fine at 505.

Progesterone number was NOT fine at 15 (they want it around 30).

Going for my second blood draw today after E wakes up from his nap.

And starting the Goddamned progesterone suppositories again immediately, until 11-12 weeks.

Last pregnancy, I did them because an early ultrasound (6 weeks or so?) showed a ruptured luteal sac. So apparently, I have progesterone problems.

Very, very anxious, nervous and scared.

Should have second beta numbers tomorrow afternoon. I'll let you know.

Monday, October 21, 2013


I don't know how I knew. I just...did.

I wasn't even terribly confident that I had my ovulation window nailed down this month since I was using the cheapy "if test line is as dark as or darker than" type sticks. We used Pre Seed. We baby danced three times. And I promptly got so busy that I forgot to really even stress.

Over the weekend, I found myself incredibly exhausted for no good reason. My boobs were tender, but that comes and goes because of some scar tissue I have in that area anyway.

I was out of pregnancy tests.

Today, I woke up and just had a funny positive feeling. E and I went to Gym.boree, then to the grocery store, where I bought some pregnancy tests. We got home and I was scrambling around trying to get him lunch and put away groceries and I had this funny nervous butterfly feeling in the pit of my stomach. Right before naptime, I took E into the bathroom with me and POAS. We played on the bed for a few minutes while I waited. Then I walked in, glanced at the stick, and read the word "Pregnant."

My hands didn't go numb from shock this time like they did the first time, but my heart did start beating incredibly fast. That butterfly feeling intensified and is still there. I'm a little cold and shivery.

And very surprised.

Waiting on a call back from my OB's office right now. Last time I was considered high-risk, and considering how that pregnancy went I probably will be again. I hope she will want to check my betas so I can confirm it's progressing as it should.

I know it's very early and a lot of things can go wrong, so I am trying to be cautious in my excitement and keep myself level-headed. The one thing I am feeling right now, though, is incredibly, and beautifully, blessed.