Friday, August 26, 2011

Pee, Breathe, Repeat...

Seems to be the order of my life currently, especially on the days when I drink a LOT of water. Technically, I'm supposed to drink a lot of water every day, but some days it's easier than others.

Yesterday was an A LOT of water day. It was ridiculous. I went to the bathroom before I went to the gym, then walked the five minutes to the gym, and after 10 minutes on the treadmill I had to LEAVE the gym (very small employee facility), walk to the nearest bathroom, then go back. Ten minutes later I had to go AGAIN. But I gritted my teeth and made it through the next 30 minutes (at a very slow incline walk) before quickly stretching and rushing back to the bathroom.

My first couple of nights sleeping with a little pillow under my back to keep me from rolling over onto my back have gone okay. It hasn't really seemed to affect my sleeping, but I toss and turn a lot so there's a lot of pillow moving done each night. My back has been a little sore each morning, but not too bad.

I love, LOVE feeling the baby moving around and kicking. I feel them more when I am stationary - one of my books says that when you are up and moving around the motion kind of rocks the baby to sleep. Of course, now when I am still and realize I haven't felt anything in a while I get nervous. Today after lunch and a sweet lemonade he started moving - I guess sugar gets him going.

Every time I feel a little movement I smile. Just felt one now, in fact.

My attempt at prenatal swimming the other night was a TOTAL fail. The info on the YMCA's Web site was so confusing that I called them with a question. I'm glad I did because I was informed that this week is the ONE week each year when they completely drain the pool and clean it. Sigh. I guess I will try again on Monday.

Wearing my first pair of maternity jeans today. They're pretty comfortable, but I'm having a hard time getting used to the big stretchy panel and keep messing with it. I wish they had a little more stretch in the thighs - I am a pear shape and have a hard time finding a good fit.

Lucked into a HUGE sale at M.otherhood M.aternity today - they had a 40% off sale on already marked down items PLUS shipping for only $6. I wound up with two pairs of workout pants (which is great because mine are getting too tight in the belly), a pair of work pants, a pair of corduroy pants, three sweaters and a wool coat for...are you ready?...a total of $139.25. I still can't believe it! The sale is going on through early September so head over there if you need mommy clothes!

I am SO ready for it to be Sunday. I have a training to run for my local charity organization tomorrow morning from 7:30 to about 2, then I plan on going home and collapsing. Sunday I have a baby shower to go to and then am dropping Mr. M. off at the airport for a business trip. I will have four whole nights of the house ALL to myself, which I am looking forward to! I won't have to cook dinner, or watch car shows or soccer games...I can just park on the couch, graze and watch the R.eal H.ousewives.

Every day brings us one day closer to viability. Hope you have a great weekend, bloggers.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

The Terrific Twos and Taking the Plunge!

Well, folks, as of this morning I have made it to 20 weeks - halfway there! My pregnancy ticker informs me that Baby J. is now the size of a cantaloupe, which seems QUITE sizable to me! I am excited to reach the halfway mark, to have made it to the 20s, but I am still very focused on that 24 week mark.

As for taking the plunge...tonight I am headed to a prenatal water fitness class at my local YMCA. My OB is familiar with the class and has specifically given me permission to attend. I admit I am pretty nervous! I'm never one to love being in a swimsuit in general, and the whole added element of uncertainly is making it worse. What will the class be like? Will the other ladies be nice? What if I go to the wrong place? It's always nerve-wracking the first day of a new fitness class, but I know that once I get it out of the way I will feel much more comfortable.

I will say that it is HARD to find a maternity swimsuit for exercise-based swimming. Sure, there are lots of frilly tankinis and teeny weeny bikinis, but for a solid athletic suit I had to search forEVER and wound up paying $70! I know it will be a worthwhile purchase that I can use for (hopefully) future pregnancies too, so that helps.

That's all I've got for now. It's only 9 a.m. and today has already been a super crazy day! But here's my very first little pregnancy update thingy if you're interested...

Wednesday, August 24
How Far Along? 20 Weeks

Maternity Clothes? Mostly right now I'm in dresses, maternity and regular. My belly has "popped" recently and even my stretchy non-maternity pants aren't fitting great. I bought two pairs of maternity jeans last week which I haven't worn yet. I need to invest in some work pants (can't wear jeans to work). Most of my regular shirts still fit.

Weight Gain? About 16 pounds at my last appointment.

Stretch Marks? None yet - I'm using the cocoa butter in an attempt to stave them off!

Sleep? As of tonight I can't sleep on my back anymore (according to my OB), which is going to be a challenge. Sleep comes and goes. For some reason I have been out like a light the past two nights, which is awesome!

Best Moment of the Week: Finally feeling what I know are the kicks and flutters of our baby! Mr. M. can't feel them yet, but I sure can!

Weirdest Comment: No weird comments that I can remember.

Movement? See above. Ready for it to be more regular and definite!

Gender? A little boy. :)

What I miss? Soda and occasionally wine.

Symptoms: Acid reflux, cramping (have been since the beginning), wakefulness, occasional hormonal rage...

Milestones: Halfway there!!!!!

Emotions: Hanging steady so far. I have a really busy week to survive and then things will ease off for me a lot.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Wassssup ICLW?

Welcome ICLW folks. I have been a lamey lame-o blogger here lately but have recently decided to jump back into blogging with a vengence. So, lucky you!

I survived cancer at the age of 17. This year, I did some pre-baby blood tests to see if the treatments had affected my fertility (I am now 26). They had. I was diagnosed with High FSH, which means my eggs were diminished in quality and/or quality. Before we even started trying, we were told we would have challenges. My OBGYN did not pass go and immediately referred me to an RE, who didn't have an appointment available for a few months.

I dove headlong into the world of infertility - books, diets, supplements and, most importantly to me, found this wonderful online community of bloggers. The strength and courage of the women I found was so inspiring even as I looked down what I thought would be a long road of treatments, doctor's visits and, possibly, heartache. The whole while I just kept thinking how unfair it was, for me to have beaten cancer nine years ago (and beat it soundly, might I add) only for it to come and bite me in the ass again.

In the long wait before the RE appointment, we decided to try naturally. To see what I was doing, click on the "What Worked for Me" tab. I basically was doing the S.outh B.each diet (my OB said it's the best diet for fertility), taking prenatal vitamins, avoiding caffeine, alcohol and strenuous exercise, etc.

I was (I thought) finishing my first natural cycle off of birth control. I had temped and done an OPK, with timed intercourse the day before, of, and after ovulation. About two weeks later, I was waiting for AF (Aunt Flo) to arrive. Since it was my first cycle off the Pill, I had no idea how long it would take for her to arrive.

She never did.

But THIS happened:

It was the biggest "holy shit" moment of my entire life. Read about it here.

I'm going to be honest here and tell you that it wasn't easy. Right from the start I had complications - my luteal sac (a cyst that provides the baby with progesterone in early pregnancy) ruptured. My doctor called me and described the pregnancy as "iffy" and put me on STRICT restrictions and progesterone suppositories. A few days later I drove myself to the ER because I was bleeding. Mr. M. and I were both sure it was over. Miraculously, it wasn't. I continued to bleed/spot throughout early pregnancy, but mercifully it stopped at about 11 weeks.

My OB and I are determined that this baby will make it. Between her, my perinatologist and my oncologist, we are doing everything we can. I am almost to 20 weeks and my eyes are focused permanently on that 24-week marker.

Last week we found out that Baby J is a boy, which I had felt all along. He is our true little miracle, and we hope and pray for him to be born healthy and happy come January.

I invite you to follow us on our journey as the story of our miracle continues to write itself...

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

It's a boy!

And a beautiful, healthy boy at that! NO problems or abnormalities discovered on this morning's scan. What a relief! Photos coming soon!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011


I was trundling through this semi-busy day just fine, excited about tomorrow's big scan. But all of a sudden 4:30 hit, and I got so nervous I almost threw up.

Pray for us tomorrow. Please. So many things could go wrong.

Please God, show us a happy, healthy baby.


Monday, August 8, 2011

Maybe It's Make Believe

Hello all. Still here. Still (I think) pregnant. Slowly losing my mind from waiting.

I find myself at an odd time in the pregnancy. For so long it was just striving and pushing and praying to make it to the second trimester. Then I got here and...nothing happened. No bells sounded, no celebration ensued, no magical sense of "Well, NOW everything will be JUST fine" arrived. My cramping, while still present, has finally started to ease off. My terrible fatigue has faded, except for days when I am running around a lot at work.

So the thing is...I don't really feel pregnant. I don't really feel different, to tell you the truth. I just feel like me, the same old me, with a slightly larger belly. While it is larger, it hasn't really "popped" in that oh-so-recognizable way. It's just...bigger. The pregnancy doesn't really feel REAL to me at all right now. It's a very surreal place to be, and a very scary one as the wait time between ultrasounds and appointments stretches on.

I have had some little thumps and flutters that I think might be movement, but it's hard to tell. I think that when I can feel the baby move regularly I will be reassured, but then I will just have something ELSE to freak out about if he/she moves more or less often than previously. Geez!

The BIG NEWS is that the BIG ONE is coming up this Wednesday. By that I mean the anatomy scan. In the past when I've heard people ask expectant moms, "Do you want a boy or a girl?" and they have replied, "It doesn't matter as long as it's healthy," I've allowed myself a snigger and a "yeah, right." But OMIGOD it's SO true! Finding out the sex is SO much less important than showing me that the baby is healthy; all limbs and organs accounted for and functioning. THEN tell us boy or girl and we will celebrate either way! I'll confide that I have had a "feeling" all along that it's going to be a boy, and many of my friends/relatives have agreed. If it's a girl I will be SO surprised and VERY excited to go clothes shopping! :)

Today at work I have done nothing but browse, Babies R Us and infertility/pregnancy blogs. I cannot concentrate on a single thing other than willing the minutes to go by faster. It has been seven weeks since our last ultrasound and while we have heard the heartbeat since then, we haven't seen the baby. I am distracting myself tonight with a pedicure and eyebrow wax (MUCH-needed as they are taking over my face). Tomorrow night, when I will be going REALLY nuts, my friend L is taking me to a movie. The scan is at 8:40 a.m. on Wednesday mornings. Mr. M. is going with me, of course. We are both very excited and very nervous!

Sorry for such a long time between posts. Once we get Wednesday out of the way I will hopefully feel a little better and more inspired to write.

And now back to watching the damn clock...