Worse than buying condoms...

It's 6 p.m., my meeting has ended wonderfully early and the one and only thing on my mind is a cup of (skinny, decaf) coffee. I pull through the drive-through at S.tarbucks, order my caramel macchiato, and wait. I know it takes time to make a cup o' joe, so after some in-car gymnastics to reach the book bag stashed behind my seat, I pull out a fertility book, Making Babies, and start flipping through the vitamins and minerals section.

My barista is cheerful and young with long red hair and a genuine smile. "Whatcha reading?" she asks. Oh, well, I don't know her and probably never will. A wry smile twists my mouth as I hold the book title up for her to see. It surprises her.

"Oh, well, that's fun, I mean not the having them part but the making them part, right?"

I shrug.

"Well, have a great day and good luck and I hope you do make a baby!"

It was one of the strangest conversations I've had to date.

On to the drug store. My list of pre-natal vitamin requirements in hand, I head to the supplement section. Which is RIGHT by the prescription drop-off/pick-up place. Oh God, I hope I don't see anyone I know. I search and search and search but cannot find a 3x a day vitamin with the nutrients I need. I do grab a bottle of Evening Primrose Oil (an essential fatty acid) before heading to the "Family Planning" section.

Rows and rows of lube and condoms face me as, face scarlet, I bend down to check out the ovulation predictor kits and pregnancy tests on the bottom row. There's a guy checking out the cold medicines (or maybe just me) behind me and I feel like he's watching me. Oh, God, I hope I don't see anyone I know.

Tests in basket, I search in vain for a BBT (basal body thermometer). I'm going to ask the pharmacist to stop my birth control subscription anyway, so I ask him if they have any of them.

"Basal what?" he asks me and the rest of the waiting public loudly.

"Basal body thermometer," I reply, as he shrugs and turns to a co-worker. She's female and my shoulders sag with relief, because SHE knows. Except she doesn't. "A WHAT?"

IT'S A THERMOMETER THAT TELLS YOU WHEN YOU'RE OVULATING SO YOU CAN GET PREGNANT! I want to say, but don't because Oh, God, what if I see someone I know?

Finally an older (female) pharmacist takes pity on me and points me in the right direction. But they're out. Super fun.

I take my purchases up to the counter and find a good checker - youngish, female and no one else hanging around. Sheepishly I put my vitamins, pregnancy kits and ovulation predictor kit on the counter. Luckily she doesn't comment as I swipe my card. Then she smiles at me.

"I'mma tell you a secret," she says, not lowering the level of her voice. "When you ovulate, your discharge changes (gestures in her crotchal region)."

I am stunned by her discussing cervical mucus in public. "Uh-huh, I've read about it," I mutter.

"And another thing. When your period starts, that's the first 14 days of your cycle. The LAST 14 days are when you can get pregnant," she said.

"Right."

OH GOD WHAT IF I SEE SOMEONE I KNOW?

Bag in hand, I high-tail it out the door and down the street to the next pharmacy, where I do find a BBT thermometer (and a new Self magazine to help me feel better).

What a ridiculous day.

I don't want to run into someone I know while buying pre-pregnancy stuff. I can just imagine all the questions that I don't want to have to try to answer, and all the complicated explanations I will have to give about why I'm buying this stuff when we haven't even started trying yet. Sheesh!

AF (Aunt Flow) should arrive tomorrow, which means that tomorrow morning I will take my first BBT. This is exciting stuff, folks!I downloaded the Making Babies BBT chart (which you can do for free here) and am ready to go!