Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Worse than buying condoms...

It's 6 p.m., my meeting has ended wonderfully early and the one and only thing on my mind is a cup of (skinny, decaf) coffee. I pull through the drive-through at S.tarbucks, order my caramel macchiato, and wait. I know it takes time to make a cup o' joe, so after some in-car gymnastics to reach the book bag stashed behind my seat, I pull out a fertility book, Making Babies, and start flipping through the vitamins and minerals section.

My barista is cheerful and young with long red hair and a genuine smile. "Whatcha reading?" she asks. Oh, well, I don't know her and probably never will. A wry smile twists my mouth as I hold the book title up for her to see. It surprises her.

"Oh, well, that's fun, I mean not the having them part but the making them part, right?"

I shrug.

"Well, have a great day and good luck and I hope you do make a baby!"

It was one of the strangest conversations I've had to date.

On to the drug store. My list of pre-natal vitamin requirements in hand, I head to the supplement section. Which is RIGHT by the prescription drop-off/pick-up place. Oh God, I hope I don't see anyone I know. I search and search and search but cannot find a 3x a day vitamin with the nutrients I need. I do grab a bottle of Evening Primrose Oil (an essential fatty acid) before heading to the "Family Planning" section.

Rows and rows of lube and condoms face me as, face scarlet, I bend down to check out the ovulation predictor kits and pregnancy tests on the bottom row. There's a guy checking out the cold medicines (or maybe just me) behind me and I feel like he's watching me. Oh, God, I hope I don't see anyone I know.

Tests in basket, I search in vain for a BBT (basal body thermometer). I'm going to ask the pharmacist to stop my birth control subscription anyway, so I ask him if they have any of them.

"Basal what?" he asks me and the rest of the waiting public loudly.

"Basal body thermometer," I reply, as he shrugs and turns to a co-worker. She's female and my shoulders sag with relief, because SHE knows. Except she doesn't. "A WHAT?"

IT'S A THERMOMETER THAT TELLS YOU WHEN YOU'RE OVULATING SO YOU CAN GET PREGNANT! I want to say, but don't because Oh, God, what if I see someone I know?

Finally an older (female) pharmacist takes pity on me and points me in the right direction. But they're out. Super fun.

I take my purchases up to the counter and find a good checker - youngish, female and no one else hanging around. Sheepishly I put my vitamins, pregnancy kits and ovulation predictor kit on the counter. Luckily she doesn't comment as I swipe my card. Then she smiles at me.

"I'mma tell you a secret," she says, not lowering the level of her voice. "When you ovulate, your discharge changes (gestures in her crotchal region)."

I am stunned by her discussing cervical mucus in public. "Uh-huh, I've read about it," I mutter.

"And another thing. When your period starts, that's the first 14 days of your cycle. The LAST 14 days are when you can get pregnant," she said.



Bag in hand, I high-tail it out the door and down the street to the next pharmacy, where I do find a BBT thermometer (and a new Self magazine to help me feel better).

What a ridiculous day.

I don't want to run into someone I know while buying pre-pregnancy stuff. I can just imagine all the questions that I don't want to have to try to answer, and all the complicated explanations I will have to give about why I'm buying this stuff when we haven't even started trying yet. Sheesh!

AF (Aunt Flow) should arrive tomorrow, which means that tomorrow morning I will take my first BBT. This is exciting stuff, folks!I downloaded the Making Babies BBT chart (which you can do for free here) and am ready to go!

1 comment:

  1. Coming to you from ICLW, and thanks for the comment on my blog the other day.

    This post made me laugh...which I know you probably didn't do at the time, but I hope you can now. Sadly this might not be the last awkward unsolicited advice you'll get...everyone has an opinion on it.