Well, the adrenaline from the first day of work has definitely disappeared, and I'm exhausted. E goes to bed at about 8 or 9 and then wakes up at about 2:30 or 3 a.m. for a feeding before going back down until it's time to leave. I get up for the day at about 5:30. I'm sleeping okay but am so exhausted, and to top it all off yesterday I developed a nasty dry cough that has me feeling even more awful. I'm so tired that my exhaustion has lodged in the pit of my stomach and stays with me all day. So far no amount of caffeine has taken the edge off, and I am VERY sensitive to caffeine.
E is doing well a daycare, although when I went to pick him up the first day they handed me an accident report! !! Turns out all he had done was scratch his face with his own fingernail, so no biggie.
He comes home SO tired and the past two nights I have just let him stay in his car seat and nap until he decides to wake up. I asked the daycare director and she said that's normal as he adjusts to a new schedule, plus his sleep at daycare isn't quite as deep as it was at home with noise and such.
They send a little report card home with us every day letting us know when and how much he ate and when his diapers were changed. We noticed they were changing his diaper EVERY HOUR. Apparently that's their policy unless the hear otherwise from the parents. They sure heard otherwise from me! At home it's usually at least 2 hours between changings unless his diaper is really full. Once an hour is a LOT of diapers - TEN per day! I talked with them and they are going to check every hour (unless he is asleep) and if he's just a little wet they will leave him until the next time.
In other news, I tried on my dress for the charity function, and it fits! Still a little snug, but definitely wearable and it doesn't look too tight. Found a pair of sparkly strappy heels on sale at the mall yesterday, so I'm set. I'm thinking of begging MIL to keep E for the entire night so Mr. M. and I can both catch up on some much-needed rest.
Some thoughts as I continue to deliberate whether or not to continue working:
-I HATE not having snuggle time in the evenings. By the time I get home, do the chores that HAVE to be done, wash all E's bottles, make and eat dinner, feed E and clean up from dinner, it's time for him to go to bed. I feel like I've barely seen him over the past couple of days. One point for staying at home.
-I don't know how working moms do this all week all year and still keep their sanity. I can barely function right now. Maybe I'll get used to it as I get more practice, but for right now I can't see myself keeping this going. Another point.
-My job is not as fun as it was the first day. I have a lot of tedious work to do and I'm starting to remember a lot of the little frustrations I had forgotten about over the past 12 weeks. Point three.
-I'm getting a little resentful of Mr. M, since I'm the one who gets up with E every time right now. Now that we're on exactly the same schedule, I feel like he should take a couple of overnights a week and let me rest. I'll be speaking to him about it tonight.