Back To Work

Well, tomorrow is the big day - my first day back at work after 12 wonderful weeks home with E. Every time I think about leaving him at day care tomorrow morning I have a little mini panic attack and my chest gets all tight and clutchy.

I know I can do it, I just have to figure out how. Get myself up and ready, get the kid up and fed, get his stuff organized, pack my lunch and gym bag and somehow get out the door on time. I'll try to do as much as i can the night before to give myself an edge. I'm not sure how long it'll take to get from my house to daycare, or how long the drop-off process will take.

I can't bear the thought of leaving my sweet boy all day. The town where we live and where he will be in care is 35 minutes away from my work, so I can't even go snuggle him on my lunch break. :( My good friend L has volunteered to go snuggle him on her lunch break, which I do appreciate.

To be honest, this is just a trial run. Mr M and I have been talking a lot about it and have pretty much decided that I am going to quit and stay at home with E. I wasn't supposed to be able to have ONE child, so there's no guarantee that I will ever have this experience again. I do feel like I need to try to go back to work for a while, though, so I can make an informed decision about what my life would be like either way.

Wish me luck for minimum hysterics and tears tomorrow as I leave my little one in someone else's arms.